Buy Her a Drink? September 25 2011

Max,

Last week I was at a bar with some friends after work and saw a really cute girl. She was exactly my type. I wanted to talk to her, but I always have trouble figuring out the best way to do it since I don’t want to come across as creepy or weird. My dad says there’s nothing wrong with the ol’ tried and true method of asking her if I can buy her a drink, so I’m going to try that next time. What do you think?

-Stumped at the Bar

Stumped, 

You might as well just go flush $9 down the toilet and stay in.  You’d be bringing a knife to a gunfight. While your dad’s quaint notions of honest courtship were well suited to his generation, they are horrifyingly out of date. It’s a new world out there, and to survive the Terminator-like ruthlessness of today’s twenty-something vixens, you need to understand the newest rules to the oldest game in town. Lucky for you, I’m your secret weapon.

Can you hear the sound of that bomb of wisdom falling? I can. Let me let you in on a little secret: girls want to respect a man. Correction: they crave it. It might not make sense to your Dad, but few girls today respect randos who go around buying girls drinks in return for a chance at conversation. In fact, they’ll laugh about it with their friends later as you watch her from across the room finishing your drink. Next time try this: while she’s at the bar ordering a walk up next to her. Keep your body facing the bar, turn your head and say anything. “Hi” is the easiest. You can also ask her a question: “Did you used to have braces? You look like someone who just got their braces off.” Or make an observation: “I’m really sorry. It’s guys’ night tonight, and I know you’re trying to hit on me and everything, but I just want to dance with my friends…” Keep good eye contact, stay relaxed, and lean back.  Most of all, keep it playful, light, and fun. If she doesn’t reciprocate your attempts at conversation, move on. She’s not worth your time. If she does, you’re in. Godspeed.

-Max